Howbecause of that I am only worthy of being a toy. How I would punished ifanyone knew how bad a boy I am. And how that would hurt my mother. Icannot hurt my mother.As our Visit comes to an end, I put on my clothes again and repeat what Ihad said again and again until HE is pleased. HIS pleasure is my pleasure.That is how a toy should think.When HE first started having me do this, the medicine HE gave me helped mesee them as true, and I can say them with conviction.I wait for my mother to come for me, and when she does, I return to theempty state I am between Visits. Only during Visits do I feel anything atall.I not know that soon I will not be seeing HIM anymore.I also do not know that the desire to be a girl will remain and growwithin me until I have to let it out.I do not know the guilt I will feel when it does, until I unlearn what HEtaught me.I do not know that I will forget HIM almost completely for a time.I do not know I will ever hate HIM, or blame HIM instead of myself.I. He had come to the conclusion that in all his life, he had never seen a woman quite so spectacular. As if her physical appearance was not quite enough, she had about her some quality that he could not quite explain. It made her more sensuous than anyone he had ever known.“I believe your position is unsupportable,” he said in his best banker’s voice, “You are perfect!”This brought a shy smile that was pure and simple, unlike those that had gone before.“You are quite the gentleman. I guess I got really lucky today,” she said.They finished their coffees and took a walk in the University garden one block away. It had gone well past noon when she said she needed to go to class. He smiled said it had been a lovely morning and would have walked away, but she held his arm.“You have a cell phone?” She asked.He dove into his pocket and pulled the iPhone, his oldest daughter Maryjane insisted he have in his possession at all times. He rarely used the phone other than to call his children. She.
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